I don’t really have a comment on the death of Michael Jackson, a little surprised, and curious as to know *why* he died.

In other news, I have been assimilated, I’ve joined facebook. *is sad* I tried so hard not to give in, I fought long and hard and Facebook won. Oh well, if anyone is on Facebook and would like to friend me, drop me an e-mail. 

I now have a job w/ Best Buy *dances* boy did I need that. I might actually be able to make it through the summer and paying for the move to CA, should it actually take place, will be *much* easier. I have a date on staurday with a girl from my Death and the after life class her name is Stacy and she’s really cool. She likes comic books! And while she’s a Marvel fan I’m willing to over look that b/c I think she’s interesting people. I’m both excited and terrified about this Saturday by turns. I haven’t been on a date with a new person in over six years. And this is my first date with a girl. With my luck I’ll spit on her or something.

I’m writing this in part b/c I’m now way too wired to go to sleep and in part b/c the police might need it. I was getting into bed and I heard a gun shot. I jumped out of bed and ran toward the window and I saw a guy standing by a black van w/ a red stripe he was tall maybe 6 feet but it was difficult to tell, muscled, thick, probably 260 lbs wearing a wife beater tank top and black windbreaker pants. Buzz cut, brown hair, white. He had a gun. He was loading the clip into it and he put it up in the air and then he turned around, the gun held behind his back. It was silver. And then he started walking toward the apartment building across from mine. I ran and got my phone and I called the police. I gave her the description and—fuck there goes another gun shot—ok so I gave her the description and while I was on the phone with her we heard another shot. So this latest one make three. Honestly I actually live in a fairly safe place. Or I thought I did. I’ve lived here for three years and nothing like this has ever happened but I gotta say that I’m a bit freaked and its 1:58am and I’ve got no one whom I can call and talk me down. So right, I gave her my name and my contact info and told her if the police needed to contact me that was fine. Fuck, I wish they’d get here. I mean I don’t know if they’re going to stop by or what but I wish they would arrive at the complex b/c he could be hurting someone!! Thank god I’m on the third floor and that there is only one way in. And believe you me it is locked and bolted. Ugh. I’ll think twice about going out around this time, hell I was going to go down to my car and get the Rx that I left in it but then I decided I couldn’t be bothered. And now, apparently, there are crazy gunmen running around my apartment complex. No more gun shots. That’s good right? Ugh. I’m going to try and go to sleep. Weird night. Very weird.   

Hello friends. Cat update. Celle is on the mend, which is good. Simon is now sick. Which is bad. *sigh* I just can’t win for losing. 

Also I’ve been doing maths, which just goes to show that maths *are* dangerous no matter *what* your teacher told you in grade school, right anyway, maths. I’ve been trying to calculate my move to California next summer, trying to compare moving w/ my stuff vs. moving w/o my stuff (i.e. just me and the cats) honestly I don’t think I can fit enough of my stuff in my car to warrant that one, not with the cats as well, which means that I’ll pretty much have to have some kind of truck. This is going to cost a bloody fortune. *headdesk*

Its 3:12 am and I’m writing this in an attempt to keep myself awake while I am so very tired. Why, you might ask, are you trying to stay a wake if you are tired?

Go on I’ll wait.

LJ: Why Erin are you trying to stay awake when you are so very tired.

Well I’m glad you asked. I’m sitting up with my cat Celle, who, despite *two* emergency trips to the vet today, is still having trouble breathing. But at this point I don’t think its asthma. Or rather I don’t think its *just* asthma. I think her nose is stopped up. So I called the emergency vet and explained that she’s still breathing through her mouth, but I think she has to b/c her nose isn’t working. The vet told me to give her ½ a benadrill and to put her in a steamy shower. Well not *in* the shower, obviously, but in the room while the shower is run. We’re on round two w/ the shower. I’m waiting to see if the Benadrill works. She does seem a bit better and it’s only been about ½ hour, so I have hope. Such a small, yet important thing hope. Meanwhile Simon cannot figure out what the hell is going on and why *he* can’t play in the steam room. (I don’t want him chasing Celle and/or knocking her off the counter top ledge which is the highest point in the room and thus best access to the steam.) Please let this work. So tired. It has been such a long day. Bracketed with trips to the vet on both sides. I woke up this morning, saw the way she was breathing (or wasn’t) panicked and to her to the vet. Go her home, she was only here for a few hours saw the way she was breathing, panicked and took her to the emergency vet. Now we’re trying the not panicking approach (well in theory anyway) I’ll let you know how that turns out. 

My cat has asthma. Which is much better than what I thought she had. But in order to find this out I had to take her to the emergency room at 2:55am. This cost a great deal of monies which, due to budget cuts on the part of the fed gov, I don’t, in fact, have. So I’m job hunting. I’m on day…three. Shockingly most places are not hiring at the moment see recession.

I went rafting. It was…well, if I never have another trip quite like that one I’ll be ok. I didn’t fall out at 7 foot, but given what all happened I rather wish I had. On one of the class fives my whole raft (with the exception of my brother and one of the two guides needed for this particularly difficult rapid) ended up in the water. There were more people in the water than there were people to get us out of the water and another rapid dangerously close. I was under water for so long my lungs hurt when I came back up. So yeah, not all that great. Hopefully next year will be better.

School starts tomorrow. I don’t wanna go. Not b/c I don’t like school, I just hate classes that are so freakin’ long. Sitting in one place for 2 ½ hours is very difficult for me. I prefer classes that are shorter but more frequent. Not an option I’m afraid. *sigh*

I’ve been kinda down of late. Bummed about the money thing. And worried of course. I’d like to try and meet someone but…the only place I think that’s likely to happen is on match.com and I can’t afford to join. 

I went to a concert. I saw Jonathan Coulton. It was cool. I went with John, the X, with whom there has been a great deal of drama of late. I have more drama with him than w/ all my other friends combined. He said that he didn’t want us to hang out one on one anymore. I was cramping his style in his attempt to find a new Girl Friend. Since then he’s asked me to come over and watch a movie and then to the concert. *shakes head* I don’t pretend to understand any more. 

I’ve been feeling somewhat taken for granted by some of my friends, and I’m frustrated and hurt by that. And I’m not sure how to assert myself in such a situation, the times that I’ve tried I always end up the bad guy. Anyhoo I’m off to bed. School tomorrow and all that. 

My TV has mutinied. That bastard. Well, I think it’s the TV, I can’t tell really. My TV is so old that it only has a jack for the cable outlet, in order to use a DVD player it has to be jerry rigged through the VCR. But I can get sound fine, and the DVD player will play, but the picture isn’t there. Its just blue screen, the best that I’ve managed is to get a vague outline on blue screen. I don’t know if this means that the TV is busted, or the VCR. We had a huge thunderstorm last night and while everything is hooked up to a serge protector I think that might have had something to do with today’s mutiny. Whatever the reason, I’m not a happy camper. >.<   

hey guys,  I’ve got a few questions for you lot.

1)  could some one point me in the direction of some decent het slash between the 10th Dr. Who and Rose Tyler, or failing that in the direction of someone else who might know? (yes that's right het, truly hell has frozen over.  I hope everyone packed their thermal jimjams) or point me in the

2) Could some one point me in the direction of some decent slash between night owl and Rorschach or again failing that in the direction of someone who might know?

and finally

3)  is any one interested (or know someone who might or know someone who might know someone who might) be interested in doing Original Character roll play with me?  Fuck but its been way to long and I’m really tired of just kicking around in my own head, b/c I already know what's going to happen.

Thanks guys, I appreciate the help.

Cheers,
Erin

Have you ever had a day that just felt…off? Like you couldn’t point to any one thing and say “this is why my day was bad” abut at the same time you just felt out of sorts all day? I’m having one of those and I’ve really no excuse. This past Saturday I went and got myself a massage, the masseuse was gorgeous. Her eyes were huge and this beautiful shade of green, she was well spoken, obviously intelligent and had a beautiful body. I spent the better part of the massage trying to figure out if she was straight or not. I’m still not 100% but I think she’s strait. Regardless it was one of the best massages that I’ve ever had (it was a Christmas gift) I had a wonderful time and she’s got a roommate who *is* gay; she (Janet the masseuse) invited me to have dinner with her and her roommate, we’d (Janet and I) had been talking about how difficult it was in Duluth (Georgia) to meet bent people like myself. Apparently her roomie is having similar difficulties. 

So all and all Saturday was wonderful. Like I said I’ve found someone to roll play with, so that’s exciting. I had to take my car in to have the breaks looked at, they’ve been grinding and I was so certain that I was going to have to have the rotors and the break pads replaced, which was going to cost upwards of $350.00 Which believe you mean, is money I don’t have. But the rotors weren’t gone and it only ended up costing $137.00 total (I had a coupon ^_^) 

But still I feel…blah. Most of it has to do with money, I’m living on more or less a fixed income b/c I’m a student and while I do get a stipend to live on it isn’t enough so I’ve also had to take out loans, but I’ve maxed out the amount that I’m allowed to have for this year. I cringe when I think about how much debt I’m wracking up, my best friend is a credit councilor and I always feel like such a failure whenever she talks about her clients b/c all I can think is, I’m just as bad. *sigh* What’s worse is that I don’t really have a concrete understanding of just how much I’ve got in loan debt (I mean I know how much I took out at each time, but then there’s the interest and what not) I’ve got the stuff from undergrad and now I’ve got the stuff from grad school and b/c they’re stupid easy to apply for and all of it is done on line, you don’t ever really talk to a person. I think I’m going to see if I can talk to a councilor at my college, I mean surely *somebody* can explain to me how best to go about all of this. *sighs* I hate feeling out of control. I just can’t stand it. >.<

I’d like to get a job, but other than my part time work with Eastern Onion (human directions aka standing on the side of the road in funny costumes and waving) I don’t think that I could make enough money to make it worth my time and in this economy good luck finding anything. Hell I don’t know if Eastern Onion even has any work these days. I plan to get back in the EO saddle at the start of March. And if it hasn’t warmed up I’ll just have to get some better gloves.

ok i'm not dead, but if you turn your head to the left and squint a little i might be.  Ok, so i adopted a kitten, she was a stray and showed up at my door all skin and bones and the poor thing just wouldn't stop following me around and i fed her and then finally i just gave up and brought her in (to the bathroom b/c i've already got two cats and god knew what she might have but it was 18 degrees and in Georgia that's unheard off and she was so cold and so miserable) she's this tiny little thing she ways 6 lbs but feisty after i got some food into her and got her warmed up.  The vet cleared her and now she chasing my oldest--who's 16 lbs!!--around the house.  ^_^

I sprained my foot, big time.  I was doing a jump double crescent kick landed wrong.  Oh so wrong and had to go the the ER (and boy didn't that cost a lot >.<) i thought it was broken, i swear i heard something snap, but it was just sprained and oooooooo how it hurt.

I'm grading for school at this point, that's right poor defenseless undergrads are now at my mercy as i give out grades.   Mawhahahahaha.  *coughs* its um, actually a lot harder than i thought it would be and lord but it eats up time, plus all the reading i've got to do for class,

oh and i've b/c addicted to NCIS so um that doesn't help.  No really, I LOVE THIS SHOW beyond any show i've ever seen and we're including Torchwood where Men kiss other men on TV!!  its not just in my head!!  Its part of the freakn' script, and i*still* love this show more!!  Why, b/c the main guy Gibbs, is just wow.  *sigh* don't ask, i've apparently got a whole host of daddy issue i didn't know that i had.  Lord i could have done without that little piece of self knowledge.  Fuck.

I've not posted in ages and ages, hell i haven't even *look* at LJ i've just been trying to stay on stop of the reading and not go batshit insane.  It, uh, not really working.

Ok, so what else, i tried and failed (spectacularly) at an on line relationship.  Guys, seriously i'm just fucking broken.  I just can't do this dating thing and for the most part i'm ok with that but every now and then i think, do i really want to be alone *forever* not that i really believe in being with one person for *forever* but it might be nice to date someone and actually enjoy it.  Is that even possible?  I don't know.  God it hurts to even think about it.  Fuck.  Think about it later when you're on your meds.  Yeah, *coughs* keep forgetting to refill those.  Go me.

um....i think that's it.  Oh i'm still reading fic, ok mostly re reading crimsonquill's stuff cause she, you know, awesome and stuff.  With sprinkles, but it just so hard to find good fic damnit!!!  Stupid hard to find fic.  Anyway if anyone has any recs, i know i know  ask all the damn time, but yeah, anything long m/m and finished.  That's all i ask, i'll take any genre, seriously, i'm dying here.  I'm re reading stuff that i've read dozens of times.  >.<  not that i've really got the time so perhaps it for the best.  (like that ever stopped me) i have to go now i've got more home work to do and grading and...stuff.